I'm definately not a big fan of the holidays. I used to be. For some reason i'm just not in the spirit. Usually i just want to be left alone. However, i think i have secluded myself too much. Now i just feel lonely. I feel like everyone else is out having a good time and here i sit. The only people who call me are elyce, amber, and scott. Which isnt too bad cause I couldn't ask for better friends, but, i feel secluded. I really do try to be happy, because i know that things could be much worse. The holidays just arent what they used to be. I'll be 18 in less than two weeks, but I feel like i'm getting too old to do certain things. I think that may be part of my problem. It's officially Christmas morning. It just doesn't feel like Christmas to me. I also don't want to leave for Texas. I'm really glad to be going and everything, but i just don't want to leave. I want to spend New Year's at home with my friends. Instead I'll be in Texas with a bunch of rich people. And once again i'll be alone. The holidays always make me depressed. Any other time i'm out having fun with my friends, but its times like these that i want someone special to spend time with. It's really starting to get to me. I shouldn't let it, but I do. I feel like no one wants me and that i'm destined to spend the rest of my life alone. I think it's because i'm a hopeless romantic and i think that too often i find myself looking in all the wrong places and finding the wrong person. I want to have that fairy tale romance. Unfortunately, i dont think those exist anymore. Even if they did it probably wouldnt happen to me. Good things never happen to me. I either get walked on, cheated on, or just left behind. And just when things couldn't get much worse, they do. Please God, let me be happy, just for once.
...........PS: Merry Christmas